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  AMERICAN TITLE V


Whose Book Will Be the Next


American Title?
 

 

ROUND THREE / BEST STORY SUMMARY SUBMISSIONS


Marie-Claude Bourque, American Title Writing Competition Finalist
Marie-Claude Bourque
Seattle, WA
 
ANCIENT WHISPERS
(Paranormal)

Story Summary:
Inspired by the poem "Evangeline" (Longfellow, 1847), "Ancient Whispers" tells the story of a bold immortal sorcerer and his obsession to be reunited with the fiancee he lost centuries ago.

When pediatric nurse Lily Bellefontaine gets lost in the rugged woods of Langdon, a small coastal village of Rhode Island, she never suspects her mistake will change her life forever. After bold immortal sorcerer Gabriel Callan finds her unconscious in the dark wilderness, they embark on a rough journey involving much soul-searching, packed with action fighting dark mysteries and where, aided by the high priestess leading the priory of sorcerers to which Gabriel belongs, Lily reclaims powers buried inside her for too long.

Their love is tested many times. First, as Lily learns to accept the daring Gabriel, so different from her. Then, as she realizes he hasn't forgotten his lost fiancee and regards both women as the same, even when Lily refuses to remember or even acknowledge her past life. Their love triumphs, however, when Gabriel learns to live in the present, easing his guilt at betraying the memory of his first love and when Lily accepts her fate, claiming Gabriel as her priestess's warrior king during a powerful magical ritual where together they vanquish a mysterious dark mage, enemy of the priory and threatening their salvation.

They finally join in a sensual Beltane ceremony, linking their souls together in eternity. Their love is strong, balanced. Together, they will no longer let fate dictate their future.

Judges' Comments:

Flavia Knightsbridge -- A compelling story. Nothing like a little soul-searching with an obsessed sorcerer to get my dander up! Both characters have crucial struggles to overcome, but I'm concerned that you've packed in enough plot for a whole trilogy into one book.

Hilary Ross -- This is slightly confusing. Who is "her priestess"? He has one but does she? And what is the "priestess's warrior king"? Also, Fate is an absolute and necessarily dictates one's future.

Leslie Kazanjian -- If getting lost in the woods of present-day Rhode Island can lead to sorcery, soul-searching, and dangerously sensual secrets, maybe we should all head straight for the "forest primeval!"

Jessica Darago, American Title Writing Competition Contestant
Jessica Darago
Arlington, VA
 
THE SERPENT'S TOOTH
(Historical)

Story Summary:
Reba MacKenzie was raised by her physician uncle to heal the sick, help the needy and put duty above all else. When no medical school in 1854 America will accept her, her only choice is to go to Edinburgh, where an old friend of her uncle's has agreed to tutor her. She wants to be a doctor more than anything, although it means leaving her uncle -- her only living family -- behind.

On her way to Scotland, she meets Nate MacDonnell, gambler and runaway lordling. She has every reason to despise Nate, not least for his father's role in her parents' death. But in the small society of their transatlantic ship, there is no avoiding Nate's company. Gradually Reba discovers he is no monster, and she finds herself letting him into her closely guarded heart.

When a single bullet steals her uncle's life, it leaves Reba destitute and shatters her heart as well as her dreams. Then rumors of Nate's connection to her uncle's killers surface -- rumors he will not, or cannot, deny. Their fragile bond is crushed, and with it Reba's last hope for happiness. Or so she believes, until an unexpected ally reveals she may have living family yet in Scotland, on the distant and desolate Isle of Skye. But her only hope of finding them means putting herself at Nate's mercy -- and at the mercy of his ruthless father.

Judges' Comments:

Flavia Knightsbridge -- Good stuff. The way you bring the hero and heroine together, pull them apart, then reunite them under dire circumstances packs a punch. Reba's quest is well delineated; Nate's not so much.

Hilary Ross -- Here's a dark plot with a lot of important deaths but presumably that's alleviated at the end by finding good relatives on Skye.

Leslie Kazanjian -- Titanic with a happy ending? Maybe! An aspiring doctor trapped on a claustrophobic yet atmospheric 19th-century voyage with the dashing rogue she should despise ... Their reluctant, inexorable, yet dangerous attraction sounds utterly intriguing.

Tamara Hughes, American Title Writing Competition Finalist
Tamara Hughes
Brooklyn Park, MN
 
ONCE UPON A MASQUERADE
(Historical)

Story Summary:
Rebecca Bailey works as a maid in a wealthy household and dreams of what might have been. Almost 10 years have passed since her mother died. In that time, her father has gambled away their modest wealth.

To protect the only family she has left, Rebecca struggles to stay ahead of her father's debts. This time he owes a small fortune to men who'll stop at nothing to get their money. In a last desperate attempt to raise the funds he needs, she pretends to be an heiress and slips into a masquerade ball in search of a wealthy suitor.

Self-made shipping magnate Christopher Black re-enters high society in search of his friend's murderer. New evidence in the case has surfaced -- an emerald comb found at the scene of the crime, one of a custom-made set. Determined to catch the killer, Christopher attends the ball in hopes of spotting the comb's missing twin.

The moment Christopher catches sight of Rebecca, he's intrigued. Unlike high society ladies schooled to act as porcelain dolls, she has a playful exuberance that draws him to her. He's convinced she may be the woman who can make him forget the pain of a broken engagement, until he discovers she possesses the emerald comb, and Rebecca becomes the prime suspect in the crime.

When attempts are made on Rebecca's life, Christopher protects her. But as evidence against her mounts, he is forced to choose where his loyalties lie.

Judges' Comments:

Flavia Knightsbridge -- You have the basis for an exciting gothic romance/mystery. Rebecca's devotion to her father is touching; I just hope she doesn't come across as too much of a wimp. And if she's desperate for money, cozying up to a wealthy suitor doesn't seem like a quick route to cold cash.

Hilary Ross -- This sounds like a pretty straightforward romance heightened by the murder mystery.

Leslie Kazanjian -- Apparently Cinderella walks straight into an O. Henry story at this masquerade ball, with all the tearful poignancy and breathless passion that combo suggests. With a dash of murder and a pinch of larceny, the result should be an elegant, exciting confection.

Michelle Lauren, American Title Writing Competition Contestant
Michelle Lauren
Hampton, VA
 
Round Three Elimination

HOW TO TAME A HARPY
(Urban Fantasy)

Story Summary:
In "How to Tame a Harpy," a jaded hero seeking redemption and a love-shy beauty out to clear her name join forces to stop a killer whose crimes threaten to destroy their happiness.

Twenty-six-year-old Siren Jones is running from her past. This street-smart harpy has a temper with a life of its own, something which has left her no stranger to heartbreak. Beneath her defiant, tough girl attitude, she harbors a deep desire to have a normal life. Poseidon, Virginia, seemed like the perfect place to start over, but the past returns to haunt Siren when she is implicated in the high-profile murder of an ex. Worse, she does not remember the night in question! Her only hope lies in an unlikely protector, a man whose touch sparks her passion but whose past threatens to destroy them both.

Tall, dark and lethal, gargoyle Daniel Smith lives in the shadows, considered an outsider even among other supernatural creatures. Jaded by past betrayals, he swore never to risk his heart again. Siren is exactly the kind of woman he doesn't need: bold, beautiful and a magnet for trouble. But when she comes to him seeking protection, he cannot deny the attraction between them. However, her connection with an old enemy unearths Daniel's hidden insecurities, causing him to doubt if he can trust her. As time runs out, they must learn to overcome past hurts and trust each other to catch the real killer before he strikes again.

Judges' Comments:

Flavia Knightsbridge -- Your story summary sounds like a retread of last month's hero/heroine descriptions. This is the time to detail the high-profile murder, what Siren's connection is to Daniel's old enemy and how they learn to trust each other.

Hilary Ross -- There's certainly enough conflict to keep the storyline moving, but hopefully the author can come up with a better name for the locale than Poseidon, which is almost as bad a name as the heroine's name of Siren.

Leslie Kazanjian -- Murder and mayhem, amnesia and desire, all mysteriously erupting in a small Southern town -- could this be a paranormal Peyton Place? If so, count me in -- I can't wait to meet "tall, dark and lethal" Daniel!

Barbara Longley, American Title Writing Competition Finalist
Barbara Longley
St. Paul, MN
 
Round Three Elimination

TRUE TO THE HIGHLANDER
(Time Travel)

Story Summary:
Concert violinist Alethia Goodsky had plans for her future, and they didn't include time travel or heroic deeds. And she certainly never intended to lose her heart to a 15th-century Scottish warrior and an orphan unable to hear her music.

A life hangs in the balance, and only Alethia can tip the scale. This is all the Renaissance festival fortuneteller reveals before transporting Alethia back in time. To return home, Alethia must unravel the mystery before it's too late. She throws herself into the task only to have her efforts thwarted by her self-appointed protector -- Malcolm of clan MacKintosh.

It's 1423 A.D., the year before Scotland's King James is ransomed from the British. The Highland clans are at each other's throats, and all of Scotland suffers under the ruthless reign of their regent, the Duke of Albany. Malcolm wants one thing -- peace, and finding a lone woman on MacKintosh land means more trouble. When Alethia reveals her strange tale, Malcolm believes she was placed in his path as a harbinger of danger to come. He cannot allow the willful beauty to put herself in harm's way for his sake. He's determined to keep Alethia safe and by his side -- if only she'd let him.

Surrounded by enemies, with the mystery still unsolved, passion grows between Malcolm and Alethia until her heart is torn. Should she follow the dictates of reason and find a way home, or listen to her heart and remain true to the Highlander?

Judges' Comments:

Flavia Knightsbridge -- What happened to the deaf orphan? If he's significant to your story, explain why. If not, leave him out. Otherwise, this is a nice story. I hope Alethia's music will be crucial to the plot, not just an add-on.

Hilary Ross -- The heroine working against the clock complicated by dealings with the hero could make for a suspenseful, well-paced narrative.

Leslie Kazanjian -- Amid clashing clans, bloodthirsty warriors and men in kilts (!), a modern musician butts heads -- and hearts -- with a deliciously protective Scotsman harboring a helpless orphan. And the only problem is that she's trapped in the 15th century? What's not to love?

Edie Ramer, American Title Writing Competition Contestant
Edie Ramer
Richfield, WI
 
DEAD PEOPLE
(Paranormal)

Story Summary:
When a brooding songwriter who wants to give his newly found daughter a normal home discovers his house is haunted, who's he gonna call? A ghost whisperer who thinks men are hard and "Dead People" are easy.

Cassie Taylor's Harry Potter-like childhood gave her a thick skin, but her new client, Luke Taylor, is crawling under it. This creeps her out more than talking to dead people. Especially since Luke wants anything abnormal out of his 11-year-old daughter's life -- including a woman whose best friend is a dead cop.

In Cassie's experience, ghosts are people who died before their allotted lifespan. That doesn't fit the coronary that supposedly killed Luke's ghost. According to Luke's perky housekeeper, the ghost -- the former owner of the house -- was a hypochondriac. When she died, no one was surprised. Only Cassie suspects murder. If Cassie can convince the ghost that she was killed, Cassie can convince her to leave. Once the ghost leaves, Cassie will speed away from her cynical client faster than ectoplasm can form.

This better happen soon. She's not just falling for Luke's daughter, she's falling for him, too. Tumbling into the heart danger zone.

Luke is writing songs about his pretty ghost buster, but staying away from her becomes impossible after she's poisoned. She survives, but it was close. Too close. Luke wants her to leave so she'll be safe, but first he just wants her.

Someone else wants Cassie too.

The killer.

Judges' Comments:

Flavia Knightsbridge -- Be careful about mentioning Harry Potter in your story synopsis. You're going to be raising expectations awfully high. There's a nice bounce to your writing, but don't let it get too cutesy. And Luke has so little to do he seems almost like a secondary character.

Hilary Ross -- The fairly typical search for a murderer and conflict between the hero and heroine sound agreeably softened by an appealing little girl.

Leslie Kazanjian -- When a sexy, brooding, single dad grudgingly starts falling for the wisecracking spitfire hired to exterminate his annoying ectoplasm, the result sounds like a witty, suspenseful combination of Cold Case and Ghostbusters!
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